Posts Tagged ‘stars’

  In June of this year, I had a really rough, emotionally draining, morning. Arguments with my husband (mainly me being upset because he doesn’t do emotional woman very well), issues with the kids, my own health being its usual problem (having Crohn’s Disease, Fibromyalgia, and Crohn’s related Arthritis as well as doctors suspecting Rheumatoid Arthritis), problems with our old house (electrical, plumbing, leaky roof and so on), the realization that the relationship with someone who I thought was my forever best friend was maybe not so forever, never mind so “best” after all; all of this taking its toll on me, building up, increasing the tension inside of me, threatening to explode over the sides with massive waves of tears. The whole rotten mess was leaving me feeling very sorry for myself, extremely sad, the whole “lost and alone” feeling…. Oh and forgotten… yeah… we don’t want to leave him out! Yuck. Yep… yuck to the whole darn thing.

On my way to work, I spent the time in prayer, crying out to God and asking (ok… pitifully begging) Him to please please please show me that He was “there for me”, that He was listening even when others either didn’t care, didn’t know my feelings, were clueless on how to do anything to help, or just plain terrified to come anywhere near me due to it being so obvious that this bomb was about to blow at any second. – I know all you women out there are probably thinking – P M S. Big time. Yes, there was probably a lot of that going on too. –

I got to work and was doing “ok”, all things considered, but was still just super in NEED of God, in NEED of a hug from Him, seriously bad.  The thought crossed my mind to just go to the ladies room and have a little moment alone, where, at least, the other employees or the customers wouldn’t be able to see me, so I could stop the faking of “Yes, everything in my life is going great and I feel great, and there’s nothing more that I want to do other than hear all about how Fluffy is being so bad by peeing on your super expensive carpet and you just KNOW that she knows better and could I please give you some MORE free advice on fixing this terrible terrible dog cause you know good and well you’ve done everything perfectly and therefore all “fault” lies strictly with Fluffy.”  By the way… I’m a professional dog trainer by trade – just in the event you were wondering what was up with the Fluffy rant. 🙂  Well, I ignored the thought and continued to listen to the various Fluffy stories and smiled as if I felt great. Pretending everything is great is really hard on days like that, isn’t it?

Finally, after the thought kept on and on and on bouncing around in my head, I decided that  I would indeed go hide out in the bathroom for a few minutes and when I got in there another thought hit me, strongly – Look at your favorite Bible app, now.  So, I looked at my YouVersion app and the verse of the day was from Isaiah 40.  It was Isaiah 40:26 to be exact, which says: (NLT) Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing. 

To fully understand the importance of that particular verse, you’d need to know that I love the Chris Tomlin song, “Indescribable” and that my favorite part are the lyrics that say: “Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God

I find the very thought that the Lord knows the names of ALL THE STARS to be so loving, so amazing, so… indescribably awesome.  Maybe this is partly because I do good to remember what I did an hour ago? Ha – seriously… isn’t our God totally awesome and amazing and incredible, as well as downright indescribable? Yes, why yes He is.

So, that day, when I read that verse I suddenly felt a bit better, but then……..

I read on……

O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.    Isaiah 40:27-31 (NLT)

I felt so “hugged by God” in that moment.  He saw my immediate need and He gave me exactly what I needed – which wasn’t all of my problems being fixed for me, no… He gave me something even better – the knowledge, heart knowledge, that no matter how bad a day gets, no matter how hard relationships can be, and no matter who hurts me or deserts me, no matter what goes on in my life –

God, the Creator of everything, is right there with me.

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